holding onto a hero

i am remarkably happy with the local diner in my hometown. not only do they have relatively good food, but they are also friendly in the "i-don't-really-want-to-talk-to-you-but-you're-the-only-peron-here-so-i-might-as-well-make-it-worth-my-while" kind of way: this is what a diner is supposed to be. also, nothing really beats the smell of grease and the promise of food that is not 'healthy', but just plain good.

the best part about the local diner is that no matter what, i can go there and not have to look at the menu. i know the owner, chat with a local policeman, chuckle with the local retirees who are there for breakfast at 1:30 p.m., and take a short walk back to work.

my favorite part of my diner lunch today was the side salad: iceberg and purple cabbage with cut carrots, cukes, and tomatoes. this was accompanied by a quart of homemade chili (which is kind of runny-not classic, but classically 'the diner'), and (drumroll, please) an egg salad sandwich on rye toast, garnished with three leaves of romaine-- naturally.

i've been to some great restaurants in the past, and as much as i loved each of those experiences (bouchon, bottega, blue marlin, l'etoile, etc.), none of them come close to the warmth and good feeling i get from the diner.

when i was a girl, my dad and i would go over to the diner during lunch. he would always get the grilled cheese on wheat, i would get the egg salad on rye toast, and we would share a plate of french fries. we'd get sodas and eat our meals in about 20 minutes, returning to the (usual) chaos that is our family business.

while my dad didn't come with me today, i felt the same feeling. oh, he did eat some of my food (which is good, considering he is too skinny and needs to put on some weight), and we talked about the 'good times'. just having that conversation, i realized that i don't remember any bad times with my dad at all-ever.

i guess i'm nostalgic with this post today because, last night, i was really nervous about going back to school. it didn't really work out so well for me in the past, and those old feelings of anxiety started creeping in. i didn't sleep well, and this morning, there were definitely lingering feelings of stress.

i was linus today, and the diner, my security blanket. it's my recollection of easier times in my life where the only thing i was worried about was getting home before the sun went down so i could play outside with my friends. it's my memories of working with my father for the better part of my life-- being proud to be his daughter and being proud to work at his very successful business. it's the only reason i didn't go completely insane during my 12 hour shifts (which happened too often one summer), my time with my daddy. our time.

i guess i'm feeling guilty about the whole school thing because i've gotten used to working with him everyday. i've grown accustomed to us discussing the future of our business, how we're going to change something with our products, how we're going to handle our employees-- this is what we now share: what we've shared for eons, it seems.

i'm tearing up just thinking about losing two days a week with the man. he is just unreal as far as people go-- he is my hero.

i love my industry and i do want to continue drinking, selling, and learning about wine. the topic drives me crazy with passion and desire and i am thrilled that i have the opportunity to grow with such a great example.

the plan for aaron and me is to move to Napa when i graduate from college...again. i just hope there is a diner there that i can go and order my lunch, bring it to work, and share with my favorite co-worker.

sometimes i almost wish i could take my dad with me and we could do what we do everyday in California-- that would make the move (and my life) much easier, i think. it's hard to leave your hero behind, especially when that hero is tied to some of the most wonderful memories in your life.

well, life is choc-full of experiences that are supposed to stretch your mind and widen your horizons.

all i know is that diner i find in Napa had better be good-- it has a lot to live up to.

cheers, everyone.